Why affirmations are Helpful in Grief

It is easy for heavy thoughts to spiral out of control in times of grief. This is even more pronounced for parents who have lost a child; children are not supposed to leave before their parents.  When one dark thought follows another and another it can create a state of anxiety, hopelessness and impact the griever’s well being. This is one of the realities of grief. It can lead to sleeplessness, physical ailments, fogginess and poor appetite. There are many strategies that can bring relief to the constant cycle of negativity. One of the simplest is saying affirmations.

 

What are Affirmations?

Affirmations are simple positive statements that are easy to memorise. They are devised to be said to challenge negative thoughts and refocus the inner voice from delivering unhelpful or destructive thoughts. When repeated frequently, affirmations can reduce anxiety and reframe undermining thought patterns and thereby reduce anxiety. There is research that suggests that regularly practising affirmations can rewire the brain by strengthening neural pathways associated with positive thinking.

Case Study : How An Affirmation Helped one of our Grieving Mothers

One of our Mums repeated the following  affirmation after her child passed.

“This too shall pass”

This Mum believes that these simple words repeated and chanted throughout the day helped her work through her painful dark days. The words encouraged her to be open to the possibility that better moments were ahead and that she could push through the challenging moments and overwhelming emotions.

 

How To Use Affirmations

Choose one of the affirmations listed below that resonates with you. It should feel like it would be helpful for your current state of mind. Be present and genuine as you say it out loud or in your head. Breathe in the words. Let go of all the stress that may block their true intent as you breathe out. Repeat as often as you need to hear and feel these words. It may be helpful to write it down on a piece of paper and put it in your pocket or type it into your phone.

Some helpful affirmations

“I am allowed to feel my emotions fully, without judgement.”

“I cherish the memories of my child and honour his/her legacy.”

“My bond   with my child is eternal; his/her/ love and presence remain with me always.”

“My love gives me strength, and with each moment, I find the courage to carry my child’s light within me.”

“I did the best I could with the love and knowledge I had; my heart was always guided by love for my child.”

“I am entitled to take breaks from misery “

“ I am worthy of love , compassion and support as I grieve”

“I am always his/ her mother. He /she will always be my child”

“ I am not alone . There is love and support for me”

“this too shall pass”

 

You may wish to write your own affirmation to help you through dark days. Saying affirmations will not remove your grief. But grief is not something to be cured. What affirmations can do is bring some new thoughts that are comforting, loving and hopeful. They can shed some light on a dark moment.